My Darling Fred,

In 4 days you will have  been gone 11 years.

  Time will drag some days and fly by others.   I miss so very much.  

Life is treating me well. 

Chelle hasn’t talked to me in over  a year.  It breaks my heart, but I don’t know what to do about it.  She has decided that I was a terrible mom and has different religious views.  She no longer believes in God.   I don’t understand but it’s her choice.  She also seems to think that I am prejudice, so not true…

Rodney calls or texts almost every week.  He and the girls spent Thanksgiving here in Las Vegas with me.

I plan to try and contact her after the first of the year.   I am hopeful that we can agree to disagree on some things and move on.  I may never see her again, but I hope we can at least text and talk.

I will always love you… 

Our Anniversary

 Today is our anniversary, 14 years, but you’ve been gone for the last 10.  

I miss you so much.   Life has been good to me, but you were the best thing that ever happened to me.

Lately, I have been down and depressed.  I have friends and enjoy time with them, but there our days I do nothing but sit around.  I have little energy and find it difficult to clean or exercise.

I seem to be eating all the time.  I weigh more now, than I ever have…. When you were here, I tried to make you proud of me, but now most days I just don’t care.

I’m hoping by putting this in writing, I will be motivated to try and improve myself

I need you now, more than ever.  I will love til the day I die and beyond.

Fred, I hope you are enjoying Ray up there in heaven with you.   I pray I’ll  be with you someday..

💕💕💕

Almost 8 years

Dearest Fred,

In a little more than 2 days, you will have been gone for 8 years.   It seems like yesterday.  I still cry when I think about you leaving.  

Sometimes I feel so lost.  God gave me you for such a short period of time, but that time was so special.  I wouldn’t trade that time for anything.    You taught me so much about patience and a positive outlook.  

You left me better than you found me.  I will be forever grateful.

All my love, now and forever.

Your wife, Jo-Ann

7 plus years

 My darling Fred,

I miss you as much today as the day you left this earth.  So much has changed.  The world went through a pandemic that I never thought I would see in my lifetime, politics are a joke.   

I feel so alone, I have a few friends, but my best friend now is my sister, Mary Ann.  I don’t know what I would do without her.

I feel so distant from my kids and grandkids, they have their lives and I am so far away.  

I can’t afford to live in California and am so grateful that you left me with this house with a smaller mortgage that I was able to pay off in less than 4 years after you were gone.  

I feel like I should be working, but really don’t want to..  I spend too much time and money eating out and waste so much time playing on my iPad      I was always lazy, but it has gotten worse.

I love and miss you everyday.  Looking forward to the day we are together again.  

All my love,

Your wife, Jo-Ann

Covid19

Never did I imagine that I would see a day when almost everything is closed, even the casinos and hotels on the strip.  

It has been 12 days since I have left the house, I am so bored.  I feel so alone.  Fred,  I think of you and ‘us’ all the time.    I miss you so much.  I don’t know why, but you always made me feel so safe.  I remember thinking that while we were dating..

Never felt old, until this year.  Not sure just what it is, but am looking forward to seeing you again whenever the time comes.  I love you with all my ❤️ .

10 years ago today

ten years ago, today...... you took me for a ride in your red corvette.   Little did we know that it would lead to marriage and a move to Las Vegas.

I miss you more than words can say.  You will always be the love of my life.  Our time together was short, but the memories are so precious.   I will love forever .....

My prayer is that we will be together in heaven some day....❤️❤️

My darling Fred,

Just felt the need to put my thoughts in writing.   I talk to you all the time.  Miss you so much.  I've been dealing with migraines, but I think part of it is depression.   The time of year missing you so much, my weight and eating issues, just so much attributes to them, I am sure.

I feel so good about paying off the house, I know you would be proud of me.  Heard from both of my kids yesterday (Thanksgiving) and from Denise, that really made my day....

I really don't understand my tears right now.   Yes, I miss you more than words can say, but usually I can focus on the good memories and smile.   Guess I am smiling, but it through the tears.

Love you so much, now and always,

Your loving wife,

Jo-