Fred, you have been gone 8 months in just 2 days. Some times it seems like yesterday, that you went to be with God, other times it seem like every bit of those 8 months. I miss you just as much today, as I did last December.
This month has been tough because I remember August of 2009, when you first started to be my 'tour guide' (your words) around San Diego. Back then little did I know then that I would one day be your wife and then your widow.
There are no words to describe how much I love you or how much I miss you.
I don't know how I am going to deal with the holidays this year. We decided to get married just the week before Thanksgiving in 2009. We picked up my engagement ring two days before Christmas. I treasure the photo taken by Kathleen, in front of the Casa Vallecitas Christmas tree on Christmas Eve morning.
Actually, I treasure all the photos I have of you, and especially the video in the hospital room, where you say 'I love you'. I look at your photos often, I just need to see your smile.
Some mornings I don't know how I'm going to get through the day, but then I remember my children and all the people who love me. Even though my heart is broken, as the saying goes, "it is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all". We had 5 plus years together and everyday was precious.
From time to time, I find myself saying good morning world and good bye house. Things you used to say. I will always love you, my darling, Fred.
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